So I spend way too much of my time on TikTok, and one of the gems I have found is a creator called Domesic Blisters. She (KC Davis) also has a book and website, but I haven’t read the book.
Davis really gets nitty gritty about how to let yourself be not ok and still take care of yourself, your space and your family. Starting with the thing that got me hooked: “Care tasks are morally neutral, they are functional not moral”. While I was already on a path that was leading me to this very conclusion, those specific words have been a game changer.
The idea that your struggle does not make you a bad person, and that evidence of your struggle doesn’t either, is a wonderful weapon I use to fight shame messages in my thinking. If my house is messy but I can still find the things I need, then it is functional, there is no need for blame or shame around the mess.
By removing the layer of judgement inherit in seeing daily care tasks as moral rather than just functional, Davis, creates mental space to really look at enhancing functionality, and embracing individual strategies for arranging your life and space. She shows her audience the ways she does things that work for her and her particular struggles. She encourages us all to find the strategies that work with our personal tendencies and the life you have right now.
This ends up looking like storing things where they tend to end up anyway, or having collection baskets in those places. Even bagging up garbage to throw in the garbage if you can’t get to it right away or throwing away the dishes if necessary!! Your house, routines and stuff should serve you and support you and your life not the other way around.
If you like me sometimes have emotional reactions to daily care tasks, I absolutely encourage you to check out Domestic Blisters. If only to see how easily and thoughtfully she handles trolls. 🙂
Big Thoughts in Our Little World 