Have you ever attended or held vigil?
Were you an observer?
A mourner?
A worshiper?
The grace that veils mourning
can spread across time and crowds alike,
Leaving a strange peace in its wake.
That smooth spot
leaves room for expressions that have no other place.
There is no other time like grief.
The knot that notes the ending of a life,
a relationship, connection,
the flow stops here.
The unanchored end finally finds ground in the now.
Existentially hypothetical before this moment, and now unchangeable.
There is a before and an ever after.
The space between these is a land of its own.
Here is the dominion of big feelings, of emotional outbursts,
of stunned silence, of wailing, of moaning, of stoicism.
Moments of grief break the rules of polite society.
You are allowed to feel now,
Maybe in a way you Never did with the dead when they were alive.
There lies the shame of it all.
Death is the price of this space, this peace.
Grief for us all.
Tag: inspiration
Smoke
Apocalypse sky colors my mood
Ominous
The very air speaks danger
Rational thinking says, “I’m fine”
Animal brain panics
“Warning on the sky”
Lost
Do you know the game you’re playing?
Do you know the rules?
Are you bumbling in the dark?
Do you feel like a fool?
Do you know which way is up?
Which way is down?
Keeping calm is near impossible
When orientation can’t be found.
Were you left spinning?
Are you alone?
Can you call out?
Reach your phone?
Can they find you, if you don’t know where you are?
Do they know you well enough,
To catch your falling star?
If you are lost forever,
Your surface out of reach.
Then speed up or slow down
Whatever is your peach.
Do the things you want to do,
Now that you are alone.
If no one can find you,
You sit on your own throne.
Wall of Names
Dark and full of purpose
Black and winding through the grass
Approach is solemn and somber
Echoes of gunfire and blood
and Song
Ricochet along the naming wall
More people than I have ever know
More hands than I could shake
On and on the names keep coming
How could we do this?
How could we drag them from their homes?
To do this to them?
Our own sons and neighbor boys.
My dad tried to enlist a few years before I was born.
Genetics sabotaged his efforts
He three weeks later came home in uniform
He went back to work and let others
Find their Glory.
Because of that twist of fate,
I can tell this story.
As the war raged
He met my mom
As the war ended
I was born,
30 years later I took my kids to see the wall
With Grandpa’s name not on it.
My father was not a sacrifice,
Neither will be my son.
Governmental blood can find someone else.
Human sacrifice is DONE.
Bath
My mother was a mermaid
She lived in the warm water springs
She held court on a bubble throne
Sequestered in a world made to suit her perfectly.
Protected by a door with a lock
She didn’t love the ocean
She didn’t love the lake
Chlorine pools did not excite her
Nor streams, nor ponds or puddles
My mother was a mermaid even so
The water soothed her like nothing else could
The watery ways she taught me
By the soothing of her mind
The sharp and swollen edges
Of a past she couldn’t leave behind
The wondrous things I could have learned
If her stories had been her own.
Now long dead and mostly forgotten
My mother mermaid mine
Your story never told
You were here,
You loved me in your fashion
Before you were lost to time.
Caw
The crows cawed ominously on my rainy
isolated apocalypse walk.
Plague history echos chime through my mind.
We have been through this before.
Our old collective memory is calling to us.
We are the descendants of survivors,
That’s why we’re still here.
It’s time to listen. Time to hear the cries of our past selves
and our terrified neighbors.
What do you have to spare?
A loss of one thing usually leads to an abundance of something else.
What powers did you use to overcome your loss?
How strong are you now?
Look to yourself dear ones. Be who you want to be,
Now in this time of uncertainty.
The only one who gets to choose is you.
I love you.
Circe
I know you’ve heard what you think is my story.
I hear the voices on the winds,
the echoes of fear in your voice.
That’s not my story.
That’s his.
Not that you have no reason to fear, not that I do not wield a power that may destroy you.
He would come to my house without invitation.
Against all advice.
Escape and name me the villain.
My power is not to turn people into pigs.
It is to reveal their true form.
It’s not my fault that is who they are.
So if you choose to invade my territory.
Dominate me in my own space.
You have been warned.
I am a practical creature and pork is a sweet meat.
The View From Here is Frightening, But I Don’t Have to Look
Realizing we finally found the eye of the storm.
Safety, peace, pleasantness even
all collected in this shared life
learning each other’s languages
supporting each other’s dreams
setting up healthy boundaries
Setting up life as cooperative separates
rather than a multiheaded beast
We can acknowledge the storm
The apocalypse really
raging outside
We don’t have to invite it in.
We deserve this safety
We deserve this peace
Security will have to wait until the storm passes
We will face the thick of it again
Go out in the storm
but not yet
And when we go, it will be with a new confidence
we found peace for ourselves
in the eye of the storm
Harbingers
Here there be dragons
When there is nothing left to lose,
the dragons come and burn it all down
Dragons are change
Bringers of the apocalypse
Harbingers of the changing of the cosmic guard
The dragons come and the fires burn
Hubris burns so bright
The empowered in their haughty towers
Look down on us no more.
The humble in their steady way
Hear the noise and wonder
What new horror will replace the old
Those close to the ground
Will toil and suffer as they always have
The seeded ash will sprout anew
The ambitious will scramble
New towers will be built
Things will go as they always have
And the dragons will come again.
Broken Mirror
As the emotional eruption happens before me
I see myself as I used to be
unprotected, invisible
The fears, oh so much fear
Though I want to be a witness, a force for kindness
I fail.
An earthquake is triggered
deep inside of me.
My plates shift and I am no longer my new self.
I have reverted,
but remain precariously balanced between my new self and old
Straddling crevasses of pain
Stretching back to my earliest days
my smallest, my most vulnerable
No one protected me then
No one protects me now
The broken mirror reveals these cracks in both of us.
I see that pain and love you
I see that pain and try to love myself.
It is difficult and I am flailing.
Witnessing and honoring my progress
Witnessing and honoring our shared pain
Trying not to panic.
Coaxing the memory of the child/woman/wife I was
back to the now
Holding out a hand for
The child/woman/wife still suffering in front of me.
I hope to remind us both,
We are not alone.
There is more to life than jumping across ravines
And hiding from reflections
both for you and for me.
May love teach us both.